Marriage Doesn't Suck

Let's Talk...About Sex?

2011-03-02T15:02:00.001-08:00

Bringing Sexy Back

2011-02-25T16:41:00.000-08:00

This Sunday, we conclude the three-week series "Marriage Doesn't Suck" at Reflect Church. It has been a fun and fruitful series. I've already heard of many "Christ-revealing moments" that are leading to a more Christ-reflecting marriage. Don't miss this Sunday, as we bring it all home, and talk about the fruit of a husband's loving pursuit and wife's respectful response: ONENESS.

Specifically, how oneness is expressed and cultivated through emotional and physical intimacy. A husband who is pursuing his wife's heart will WANT to talk to his wife on a deep level; a wife who is responding to her husband will WANT to have sex with him. In the Garden, the natural byproduct of marital oneness is being "naked and unashamed." However, many marriages are "clothed and ashamed." But there is good news: the gospel brings sexy back.

So, invite someone this Sunday, as we'll have "real talk" about God's design for marriage. If you missed the last two Sundays, watch the video(s) by clicking the links below:

Week 1: LOVE & RESPECT

Week 2: PURSUE & RESPOND

Also, WEDNESDAYS at 7:00pm, Pastor Timothy and Tara are opening their home (8981 Arborview Drive, 95758) to discuss the principles of Love & Respect and Pursuit & Response. Childcare is available, so please text Timothy at 916-715-8015 if you are coming.

This Sunday, we're bringing sexy back...because God designed marriage to be a fruitful vine. The Good news is that marriage doesn't suck, and the gospel has the power to redeem and rescue marriages.

In Christ,

Timothy Stewart
Lead Pastor, Reflect Church
(916) 715-8015
timothy@reflectchurch.com

DISCLAIMER: The Bible talks openly and frankly about sex in the context of marriage. God created marriage to flourish "naked and unashamed." It was sin that drove Adam and Eve to cover up and hide. The Gospel is the power of God to redeem His original design for sex, and to make it even better! In Proverbs and Song of Songs, the Word of God talks about sex openly, but in a respectful and tasteful manner, out of reverence for God. It is with that tone and spirit, Pastor Timothy and Tara will speak about sex this Sunday. However, some of the conversation may be inappropriate for pre-teens. Therefore, we trust parents will prayerfully consider whether it is appropriate for their pre-teens/teens to attend. We believe it may be a great opportunity to openly talk with your children about what God has to say about sex. They already hear what the world has to say, why not take the time to hear what God has to say about the issue?

Pursue & Respond

2011-02-23T06:47:00.000-08:00

The Bond of Trust

2011-02-15T14:38:00.000-08:00

Trust is the glue of life.

According to Stephen R. Covey, "It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships."

In Patrick Lencioni's book, "Five Dysfunctions of a Team" he establishes trust as the fundamental ingredient and foundation to a healthy team. Without trust, no relationship will survive; nonetheless, thrive.

According to Lencioni, the absence of trust in a team (or any relationship) is destructive because where there is no trust there is no courage to be vulnerable. The strength of a team (and marriage) is collaborative synergy. Synergy is the cooperative action of two or more people--a team is more than the sum of its members. However, there is no oneness, no synergy without trust and the willingness to be vulnerable with one another.

Its been said, "An abusive relationship is one in which one person is afraid to express his or her feelings and opinions." Lencioni affirms this, and in a team dynamic such "abuse" is demonstrated in constant politicking--performing and pretending, not saying or doing what you think, but acting in a manner to curtsy favor or "keep the peace." In the absence of trust, abuse is a possibility.

From the beginning, the Enemy of God has purposed to exploit the fragility of marriage relationships, by driving a wedge of division between spouses, and dissolving any bond of trust. In the Garden of Eden, Satan succeded at sowing seeds of doubt in Adam and Eve. Their distrust of God's good and loving will fractured not only their relationship with God, but their relationship with each other. They immediately resorted to hiding from God and each other, covering their imperfections and frailties with fig leaves; followed by accusation and blameshifting. The bond of trust disintegrated quickly, and so did their relationship.

In the midst of their brokenness, God heralded good news--a way to restore trust, restore faith in God and each other--he preached the gospel and promised a coming Savior. He then removed their coverings made by human effort and covered their nakedness with "garments of skin and clothed them" after atoning for their sin with a sacrifice--foreshadowing the atoning sacrifice of Christ; the grace that would cover our sins--reconciling us to God, and opening the door for reconciliation of human relationships through the power of the gospel.

Love & Respect

2011-02-15T12:50:00.000-08:00

Video from first week of series "Marriage Doesn't Suck" at Reflect Church.

Unmet Expectations Suck!

2011-02-11T15:22:00.001-08:00

Last year, on Valentine's day, Timothy and Tara Stewart spoke at Reflect Church about the good news that marriage doesn't suck...or at least that it doesn't have to. I've broken it up into five parts, this is the Introduction.

Five Dysfunctions of a Marriage

2011-02-11T12:33:00.022-08:00

I recently asked the Leadership Team of Reflect Church to read Patrick Lencioni's bestselling business book "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team." I read the book in my preparation for our Leadership Advance in Tahoe in January. As I read through the fable, I couldn't help but to see the five dysfunctions playing themselves out in my own team. Because each dysfunction is intertwined with the others, if you discover one at work within your team, the others aren't far behind. Lencioni identifies the five dysfunctions as 1) Absence of Trust 2) Fear of Conflict 3) Lack of Commitment 4) Avoidance of Accountability 5) Inattention to Results.

Preparing for Marriage Doesn't Suck at Reflect Church, I couldn't help but to compare the five dysfunctions of a team with common dysfunctions in a marriage. If a team is more than one persons united for a common goal, then marriage most certainly is a "team." A marriage consists of two different people, working towards a common goal of "oneness." However, it seems much easier to score an "assist" on the basketball court than at home.

My hope is over the next week to unpack five dysfunctions of a marriage using Patrick Lencioni's matrix of dysfunctions. It's been said that trust is the glue of relationships. Therefore, where there is an absence of trust, marriages rip apart.

2011-02-11T12:33:00.021-08:00

Timothy Stewart on the myth that marriage sucks because it is meaningless. (Message given on February 14, 2010)

2011-02-11T12:33:00.019-08:00

Tara Stewart on the myth that marriage sucks because it is meaningless. (Message spoken on February 14, 2010)

2011-02-11T12:33:00.017-08:00

Tara Stewart on the myth that marriage sucks because it is joyless. (Message given on February 14, 2010)

2011-02-11T12:33:00.015-08:00

Timothy Stewart on the myth that marriage sucks because it is sexless. (Message given on February 14, 2010)

Upcoming Events

2011-02-11T12:33:00.013-08:00

Pastor Timothy and Tara Stewart will be speaking at Reflect Church in February on the following days:

February 13 - Love & Respect

February 20 - Pursue & Respond

February 27 - Let's talk...About Sex?

For more information or directions, please visit www.reflectchurch.com.

Prayer Requests?

2011-02-11T12:33:00.011-08:00

We believe in the good news that marriage doesn't suck. But that doesn't mean that your marriage(s) hasn't.

We live in a world fractured by sin. In the Bible, the first temptation and sin happened in the context of marriage (Genesis 3). The Enemy of God looks to steal, kill and destroy marriages.

However, we believe in the "good news" that marriage doesn't suck. Another word for "good news" is gospel. Specifically, the "gospel" of Jesus Christ.

Wherever your marriage might be, no matter how broken, no matter how busted, we believe in a God who redeems, rescues and restores.

If you would like prayer, or someone to talk to, please email Pastor Timothy Stewart at timothy@reflectchurch.com.

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In Progress...

2011-01-29T16:35:00.000-08:00

I'm currently renovating Marriage Doesn't Suck.com. If you want more information on the Marriage Doesn't Suck Mini-Conference and Luncheon, please call Timothy Stewart at (916) 715-8015 or timothy@reflectchurch.com.

If you want to register, please send check to Reflect Church/Marriage Doesn't Suck, PO Box 582894, Elk Grove, CA 95758.

I plan to update this website with helpful information on date ideas, practical marriage helps and resources.

Thank you for your patience.